THOSE SLOVENIAN POLITICAL PARTIES IN FULL (UP TO NOW)

1. K9 SLOVENIA
Hopes to raise the woof and keep doggedly on.

2. NOT SURE SLOVENIJA (NPS)
Vague, meandering party for swing voters, swinger voters, anyone who finds all their friends' views equally credible, and the mentally unstable.

3. PRISONERS' PARTY (ZS)
Representing the interests of the building trade, former politicians, serial killers etc.

4. FIRE BRIGADE PARTY (GS)
Loud, populist movement with big red engines.

5. ANTI-WOMEN PARTY (PŽS)
Keep our bars female-free (except for barmaids).

6. FARTY PARTY (PS2)
From Ptuj.

7. TARTY PARTY (KS)
Not from Ptuj.

8. CHILDREN'S PARTY (OS)
Its main platform is to increase political maturity in Slovenia by disenfranchisement of the over-7s. Good range of crisps and drinks, policies very messy, lots of silly games and running around!

9. VILLAGE PARTY (VS)
For some reason or other. Basic beer plus sausage manifesto. No ideology whatsoever.

10. BUREAUCRACY PARTY (BS)
Its manifesto promises to count everything in Slovenia, all the time, at the public's expense.

11. TURNIPS FOR ALL (RZV)
Representing the interests of Slovenia's turnip counters. If elected it will be a turnip for the books.

12. MY COUSIN, MY COUNTRY (MBMD)
Heez-a-lavverlee-boy!

13. VOTES FOR TREES (GZD)
Slovenia's silent majority.

14. AUDI COLLECTIVE OF 1947 (AK47)
For Senior Political Commissars and above only.

15. CONSTANTLY DIVISIVE VERY SMALL PARTY (NRZMP)
Votes with the minority every time - except when expected to.

16. PLAGIARISM PARTY (PS3)
Aims to be swept to power by hatred of the previous regime, then Slovenia will try to copy everything else Tony Blair ever did.

17. PLAYSTATION PARTY (PS4)
Its goal if elected is to shut up the population for hours on end.

18. TOURIST INFORMATION CENTRE PARTY (TICS)
Run by students.

19. ANN SUMMERS PARTY (ASS)
Run by housewives.

20. KISS MY ASS PARTY (PNRS)
Just run along and get me a coffee luv.

21. MAKE EVERY YEAR THE YEAR 1918 PARTY (NVLJLTDSIOS)
Will resume Royal rule by remote families with copious facial hair - includes women.

22. BRING BACK WINDOWS 98 PARTY (NPO98S)
Pensioner group which says now computers are faster it might be alright.

23. THEO-OLIGARCHY PARTY (OS2)
Slovenia will continue as before...

24. RESIGNED PARTY LEADERS PARTY (OSVS)
All your resigned party leaders together in one handy party.

25. 100% TOO SMALL PARTY (SOPS)
Tightly-knit, loosely affiliated cross-party grouping, for non-affiliated, anti-affiliation, unelectable-alone, and unsuccessful politicians, and otherwise political enemies, with emphasis on winning elections. Will remain opponent-less and opinion-less until they are returned to power for lack of any alternative.

26. SEVEN MAGIC COMMAND MIDGET PARTY (SCUMS)
Heptophiliac electoral reform group which will make it compulsory to vote for at least seven parties. More democratic than ever - seven is the world's favourite number!

27. NOT ROBERT THE BRUCE PARTY (NRBS)
If at first you don't succeed....nyahhhh, fuckit.

28. OPPORTUNISTICKY NO COMMENT ON THE FUTURE PARTY
Niches for no-comment-on-what-will-happen-after-they-are-elected parties are disappearing fast. With his Olympic genes Miro is the kind of hero politician some folks might somersault, jump, throw things, and continue running in circles to the polls to vote for. And indeed there is an argument for measuring everything using sports stadiums. If Columbus had paid attention to catasterist Eratosthenes, America might never have been discovered.

29. ROBOT PARTY (RS)
Just let the machines take over...

30. JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME PARTY (VZHPS)
Will seek to undo Slovenia's management buyouts using currently impossible physics-based solutions. Will also reinvent potica as a world food staple. Manifesto

31. FINALLY IT'S THE WE'LL DO ANYTHING TO STOP JANŠA IV PARTY (KJBSNDBUJ4S)

32. NO NO WE WILL BE THE ONES WHO WILL DO ANYTHING TO STOP JANŠA IV PARTY (NNBTKBSNDBUJ4S)

33. HEY NO WE THOUGHT OF DOING ANYTHING TO STOP JANŠA IV FIRST PARTY (HNSMDSNUJ4PS)

34. HEY EITHER YOU GANG UP WITH US TO STOP JANŠA IV OR WE WILL GANG UP WITH THEM TO STOP JANŠA IV PARTY (HASSZPNSNDUJ4ABZZNSNDUJ4S)

35. HEY DON'T TELL US WITH WHOM TO DO ANYTHING TO STOP JANŠA IV OR WE WON'T DO ANYTHING PARTY (HDNSKNPSNDUJ4APNBSNP)

36. LET'S SORT OF PRETEND TO GANG UP TO STOP JANŠA IV AND SEE HOW IT GOES THEN MAYBE GANG UP WITH JANŠA IV PARTY (NNPDZUJ4IVKTGINMZZJ4S)

37. THE EVERYBODY'S GANGING UP ON ME LIST OF SAMO KODELA (VSNMLSK)

38. LET'S HVAR BEACH PARTY (PHPS)

39. STRANKA EM-CEE - your local DJ on the mike. Forget those inauthentic big city mixmasters and party Maribor City style. Disco splits for all occasions - Reasonable rates. (Shortly after winning the election, Maribor's SMC split from the SMC).